Thank-you for your response, Anne. Yes, I do see what I went through as "trauma." My T sees it this way as well and has validated my experinece. As have my friends-- I've talked about it absolutely ad naseum and do feel that the people in my life have validated my experience. My T tends to say: "What you went through was traumatic. We will continue to talk about it. And, with time, it will get better." Yes, talking about it helps and the passage of time helps-- and, the majority of the time, it's not on my mind. But, when something unexpectedly reminds me of my ex (like finding out she got engaged yesterday), I still get those visceral feelings. I would not call it PTSD, though. I'm familiar with PTSD and I do not have the majority of those symptoms (my T agrees with me). I also do not believe in EMDR. I know others on the board have found it useful and I'm glad it works for them. But, personally, after reviewing the research, I just don't believe that it has sufficient scientific grounding. For myself, I'm only interested in talk-therapy. I do wish my T was better versed in trauma and domestic violence issues because I think that would be helpful, but I'm not interested in seeing a second T at this time. (Not saying never, though). I know that my T would not be on-board with me seeing an additional trauma T and it's not worth it for me to risk my current T-relationship to bring in someone else. Despite my T's lack of training in this area, she's the perfect T in other areas which, for me, are more important.

I am interested in the suggestion of an LGBT Domestic Violence Support Group. I will look in my area to see if there is one, but I'm not super optimistic. I think that would be perfect, though. If there isn't one, I don't know that I would go to a "women's" DV group. I thought about it once, right after I got out of my relationship, and called the local center. I spoke with the group leader, and it was evident to me that her understanding of DV was deeply routed in gender inequalities, male violence, and the "war on women." That stuff just isn't relevant to my situation. I also tend to feel very "different" when I talk to others who have been in DV situations and they talk about loving their ex, wishing their ex could have changed, and still having a place in their heart for their ex. (or at least loving them AT THE TIME, if not now). That is just soooo far removed from my experience that it's impossible for me to relate. I did not love my ex at the time and my currnet problem is my absolute physical repulsion for her. I feel like I can't get far enough away from her, even though she's in another state and we have no contact. I've never met anyone else who has a similar experience. Everyone else seems to have been torn-- loving and hating their ex at the same time. I didn't. I only had hate. I wish I could meet someone who shared my experience. If I did, I think that would be incredibly healing.