I guess a part of me is almost embarrassed as well. I know a lot of her family and her husbands as well. They've all pretty much taken me in as one of them, if that makes sense. You see, ever since I moved to the Chicago area 11+ years ago I have been alone, without any family. Now that my brother is living here I am hoping it will help in some ways, just knowing that he will be close enough in case something should happen to me. I wouldn't want him to lose his job over it, but at least I know if/when I need him he can be there. He's younger than me, but has always been very protective of me as well because of all the issues I've dealt with having been born with a birth defect and getting teased by other kids all the time when we were younger.

I definitely need to start opening up more about my feelings with my therapist and pdoc. There are just times when I feel like whatever I have to say will just be silly and they'll think 'what is up with her?' I know, it's silly to think that way, but I always feel as if I'm be judged by others.