Hello Anxious. Transference takes different forms and shapes. When i was younger i often ran into people that expressed friendships by sleeping with their friends. Not everyone is up to that sort of expression. There is a professional boundary there that cannot be ignored. If you tell her how you feel you risk losing her as your T and then you would be devastated. I am glad you could express how you feel here. Everyone at some point in their life have fantasized about another who does not feel the same way. Often we tend to fantasize about what we cannot have. Keeping a journal is helpful. Then going back to read later helps us see where we were emotionally and what was going on to make us feel the way we did. I just recently got divorced. I can say this, think before you get involved with someone, and is it really worth it. I say NO, it is not worth the effort of emotionally exhausting ones self if you have a mental illness. First you have to get better yourself before you can try to give to someone else, otherwise it leaves you worse off then you were before. Take this time being single as a time to sort out your feelings, what you want in life, where you want to go. Then work at those goals. I wish you all the best. Blessings and tc