Yes, Trail, I was rattled too because I read the entire thread in it's entirety before it was taken down.

Made me fear that if I developed a strong erotic transference, that if it doesn't fade "in time", T would be advised by others to refer out.

What really worried me was how the author honestly repeatedly explained how he wanted alternatives to referral...because he knew his client would be extremely hurt due to abandonment issues and he stated his client has few supports and resources, plus he stated how his client blamed herself because she would try her best NOT to talk about those feelings yet she couldn't help but slip and would get really upset with herself...and the author really wanted to help her hurt less...and nearly all the other therapists were saying he should have referred her out a long time ago etc.

I was left thinking these Ts really don't understand transference! If someone has a deprived background and meets a T who is empathic, compassionate, listens well, hears you and sees you...and you never had it before in your life, of course you're going to be infatuated and enthralled!

And if due to trauma or whatever, your interpersonal relationships are few and shallow... of course you're going to get attached to your therapist whose giving you titrated shots of what you always lacked.

I honestly found the responses of the other therapists punitive and shaming.

I agree with seahorse that I bet those therapists are inexperienced and I feel they're likely NOT trauma-informed.

My T is inexperienced, just two years out of her doctorate and under 30 years old yet she is nonjudgmental about my strong feelings of love towards her.

She believes that her style of therapy (schema therapy) is not meant to be detached and business-like but that she fosters a secure attachment to her and does limited reparenting within the agency's strict rules.