Patty, I have been ruminating, too. Right now, I have a coworker whose wife is having her eighth bout with cancer -- and it doesn't look good. He is completely devoted to her, yet remains kind to his students, sometimes funny, completely present for everyone.

I lost my job, was diagnosed with a chronic illness not nearly on the scale of cancer -- and my beloved of 15 years walked out. Abruptly with no fighting etc. My expectations were not so high -- he was not a good lover, he was on the road all the time, and he was a modest earner himself. He was also funny, and kind, and gentle, caring, upbeat, good with money, usually emotionally stable, knew good food and good art, played nice with others, and I loved having him in my life. The shortcomings weren't all that important.

So I wonder -- what inspires a man to stick like that, adoringly, and I wish that I had had that. I, too, look at couples who fell in love and stuck with each other, and I wish I coulda had that in life.