Quote:
Originally Posted by yagr
I was diagnosed today with DID. I knew...well actually, we thought it would have fallen into the OSDD (the old DDNOS) at this point in our life, but there's been a few things that have occurred recently and in my therapists office that have given me pause. So anyway...today I got dx'd. But I've known for decades. So why does this feel so significant?
Anyway, just doing some sitting with you all.
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Hi yagr,
Dissociation is a coping mechanism which is meant to keep us safe, as you know. When the dissociation, or the degree of dissociation, is recognized by someone else, it can feel a bit "threatening" to the system. The whole idea behind the system is to stay safe (and, often, to not be detected).
It can feel like "the cat is out of the bag." It can also feel very vulnerable.
It's possible you'd wanted your therapist to know, on some level, and you showed her some of the signs which would cause her to consider whether or not you live with DID.
It's not unusual to wonder what the ramifications might be for sharing, as the "inner code" has been an allegiance to safety and to secrecy, ultimate self-protection.
I think it's "normal" to feel "unsettled" to varying degrees once someone else is aware of our innermost "secrets."
At the same time, I feel you will likely be happier and feel more freedom in your life as you process more, letting go of "old defenses" and their associated limitations.
This is really just my own humble opinion. I hope something I have written helps in some small way.
I truly admire your ability to be open and vulnerable.
Take excellent care!
WC