I'm so sorry things are this hard for you right now Justice. I'm also sorry you arn't finding the help you need IRL. Do you have other friends you can talk to about this? Also, you are welcome to come rant on here anytime. I also really like being able to come to chat here. Even if you start out as the only one you usually won't be left alone for very long in the support chat section.

I know it is really hard to reach out to people when they let you down and just make you feel worse, but don't give up. Keep trying to reach people before they see the scars, it takes a lot sometimes, but eventually you find a few people care and show it. Plus, we all love and care for you here, but it is good to find others that are physically closer (i.e. where you live) to help.

Try to stay safe and remember that as much as we try to put bounderies on our SI, in my experience, we rarely stick to them without help. We do something and think I won't let it get this far, then snap to and realize we passed the line long ago.

Just try to find ways that help you reduce the severity of your SI.

I really don't want to lose you.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))