Oh hun! Sounds like this guy really put you through it! I've been through so many toxic relationships that I've perfected the art of getting myself over them and starting over! I don't know if this will work for you, but what I do is just keep myself busy trying to better my own life. A kind of "in your face" type of tactic. I go out more, dress up a little more (to make myself feel more confident), fix up things around my house, and I hate to admit it but I even become a little flirtatious to men to get some positive feedback/attention to keep myself from feeling so worthless and unattractive. (These are guys I know, not random strangers though.) And I try to think of the break up as a chance to rewrite my life story. Make it something new and exciting. It's hard, believe me I KNOW! But usually what happens is you accidentally end up finding a better life. I always try to just keep myself so busy doing SOMETHING that makes me feel better that I don't have time to think about the guy that hurt me. And if thoughts do come back about him, I invent some Jedi mind tricks to convince myself that I'm better off without him, but he's NOT better off without me. I know that sounds sick and twisted, but we all have to find our own way to cope with life's heartache's and disappointments. I hope you find peace and happiness!