She actually knew BPD. Not like knowing in any explicit way. Nobody knows.

She didn't assume to know. But she knew.

It's really amazing.

I didn't have to list symptoms. No ticking off symptoms. That's largely irrelevant anyway. It's always there. Pretty boring. The dynamics aren't boring, obviously. But she knows.

For the first time ever, the floodgates opened not due to external force, but by releasing force. I've never, as far as I can remember, had that happen before.

The most amazing thing is that I don't feel shame. I feel liberated. Already.

Ok, but of course this means disaster. I like her too much. She's gonna assert and assume and there will be less progress. I'm gonna reject and deny.

But I'm prepared.

For the first time ever, I feel like I'm ahead of myself.

Edit:
In a good way. Rationally. Not the typical way.

Anyway...

It's actually very interesting to think about how to interpret that phrase. Wow...