One time I drag raced some guy on the highway at 4am while driving to work.

First of all, I was driving to work early because I was convinced I was going to show my bosses that I was the best, most hardworking employee they ever had.

Secondly, I was driving 100 mph on the highway, weaving around cars, when I saw another guy doing the same thing. Then I was like, "oh hell no. I am WAAAAAY better than you!" So I sped up and started driving 110-120. I passed him and was like, "f*** yeah. eat s*** and die".

This was at my old job. Normally took me 30 mins to get to work. Got there in 15.