MC,
Thanks for today. For some reason, it makes me trust you more to know that, even though you've cut way back on drinking, you do drink on occasion. And that you have some old T-shirts with silly alcohol sayings on them--wish I could see an old picture of you wearing one! Yeah, I totally brought up the smoking comparison because you said before that you used to smoke, though pretty sure you were a more regular smoker than me. And because I got the sense you used it to deal with anxiety like I did then and like I do with drinking now. So you get it, in ways that H and T probably don't. And that's why I'm more likely to listen to you about it. Because you get why I do it. And maybe it felt like you were judging me a bit when you asked if I was putting drinking above, say, my kid or my health. But I think I need to hear stuff like that. You can say all you want about not wanting to label me and it needing to be up to me to decide if I have a problem. I know that's what they teach you in therapy school. But sometimes I just need someone to put it out there, like Int-doc did. And the fact that I've known you much longer and trust you--that means I'm going to listen to you more. So could you maybe be my crutch, just for a little while? Until I value myself enough to stand on my own?
Love,
LT
PS--You know I'm drinking a beer right now, right? I mean, obviously, I was going to come home from a talk about my needing to stop drinking and have a beer. (You got an extra-concerned look when H mentioned I sometimes have a beer right after therapy...) I know I need to stop. But not right this second...