Update: The staff stopped me crossing over at the Solstice. I'm very upset about it. I fasted for 8 days (not to cross over, to become more spiritually focused/stronger) and everyone freaked out and I almost had to go to the medical hospital for forced fluids. And they threatened to sedate me if I took the fluids out. My parents got really upset about the whole thing.

I hate being here so much, it's actually making me feel suicidal (which is different to crossing over, though I don't fully understand how that could work being dead already). The meds still aren't helping and now they're forcing me to take a benzo too which I'm really not happy about as I avoid them like the plague! They're to make me not worry so much about breaking my fast, but I just get really upset when they wear off instead.

And the psychologist says I'm too crazy to work with just yet, so everyone seems to be waiting for the olanzapine to kick in...only they won't because they don't work on me. I'm feeling really homesick. They won't even let me go out for a walk around the grounds on my own anymore

TL;DR I'm still around

*Willow*