I would suggest that what you are going thru is in fact a form of psychological manipulation. I would guess that you are responding to some very real cues and triggers, even it is just the basic arrangement of therapy, which is seemingly enough to induce powerful needs in some. It's all quite intimate and private and personal. So easy for the T, being so veiled and ambiguous, to become an idealized figure. Who wouldn't feel drawn into that.

What helped me after a long time was deciding that I knew me best, and what I was feeling was what was real, not what a psych professional tried to talk me into.

I feel sad and kinda sick when I read these accounts where the client doubts their own perceptions and sanity. It's easy in presence of an authority figure to fall into this.