Sometimes it's hard to see if it's codependent.

My ex was alcoholic. Otherwise nice man. I was never ok with his drinking and his neglect of his own mental health, I was not enabling in a sense of buying him alcohol or anything like that. But I probably enabled in other ways for example covering up for him or lying to people ( I was too embarrassed) or trying to fight over his drinking . I eventually left.

I felt guilty. Still kind of do because his health deteriorated since, he had very time with me leaving . It's a sad story. So many good memories yet 9 years with alcoholic was no picnic.

You can never fight with addiction as you can never win ( of course unless one takes his recovery very seriously which he never truly did) It was stronger than our relationship and stronger than him himself.

Sorry didn't mean to hijack, I just think codependency is tricky. When support is actually needed and when it becomes enabling...I've learned some differences in al anon but still not completely sure. "Detach with love" to avoid codependency, not always easy

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