Thank you guys.

I don't think it's BPD, since I don't meet all the criteria n stuff.
I am hoping to find a (better) therapist soon, I've just had trouble because of my insurance and limited options. I've considered trying DBT, because though I don't have BPD it sounds helpful, but again, it's so hard to find anything more than just generic talk therapy.

I have an appointment with my (also ******) pdoc tomorrow, and I'm not sure wth I'm gonna ask for.