I never really talked about what it meant for him to be away. I haven't even talked about Winnicott or the CDs he gave me while he was gone.

Last session I was going to tell him something I did while he was away and I said to him, "Well when you were on vacation-- you know, everytime I say that I want to say-- your %#@&#! vacation."

And he said, "Then why don't you say it?"

So I said, "I just did! Fine! I'll say it again-- YOUR %#@&#! VACATION."

T said, "How do you know I was even on vacation?"

And I said, "I don't care what you were doing!"

And he goes, "You're right-- either way, it was my %#@&#! vacation."

Then he commented how we really never explored how it was for me-- and he's right. I have major trouble talking about how I felt when he was gone and I can't even really talk about the CDs or the book.

Any thoughts on this?

(Whoa, I just realized that it's officially October; that means exactly two years with T this month).