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alexandra_k said:
it is hard (next to impossible) to feel angry if you are understanding something from someone elses perspective. if you just focus on that. if you focus on the frustrated needs then angry, sure, but impossible to feel angry if you just focus on the other persons point of view, their perspective and rationale behind their behaviour.
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That is so interesting! I never thought of it that way. It is classic behavior for me to always be able to view things from other people's perspective. And I don't get angry at them. Maybe that is why. Because I can view things from their perspective, their behavior just seems reasonable to me. Even my husband having affairs. I can see things from his perspective on that, so I haven't been angry. Maybe a bit sad. Alex, this is such an interesting insight. Thank you.
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the session didn't feel very good. i think... he was longing for the previous one. me being cool and calm and collected and empathetic. me feeling the pain but in a manageable and collected way. feeling connected to each other. feeling nice and polite and vaguely loveable and empathetic.
or maybe i'm projecting.
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I think you could be right about that (the projecting). You really don't know he was feeling that way. I bet he wasn't.
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i'm also so %#@&#! angry at this particular person
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I think you are doing good to express that in session. And it sounds like your T accepted it well. You haven't given any evidence that he found you grotesque or unappealing. If nothing else, think of his training. This is what therapists are trained to do--receive and respond to their client's emotions, including anger.
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this stuff is harder becuase i don't have a clear view of it yet. maybe i wanted to see how much he was willing / able to help me sort through this mess...
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I hope he can help you sort it out. Will you talk about this same topic tomorrow?
Good luck tomorrow.