I'm in the same boat. I feel for you. I used to get really frustrated, then angry. Why? Why? Why? Here's a German saying for you: Warum ist die banana krum? Why is the banana crooked?
Nobody knows (except maybe some super brainy plan geneticist!)
I've learnt to issue orders, and be tough about it.
Clothes on the floor get thrown into the yard. Game controllers left lying around "disappear"....
I have a partner who is a slob, and two teenage boys who can't get their noses away from screens. I disable the internet, and I tell them what needs to be done.
It doesn't solve the problem, no....the problem is that I/you/we are the only ones who notice! But it gets it done...
I guess I just accepted that I'm the only one who really cares, they don't and I can't make them, so I'm not going to waste energy trying.
Happier house!
And I only threw the clothes off the back deck twice