Quote:
Originally Posted by Myrto
I keep reading about your experience with your therapist and honestly I have one question: what was your therapist supposed to do? Do you really think she was going to be your wife/partner/girlfriend? Of course she was going to reject you. Of course. And you were always going to suffer. Maybe it's time to move on? Honestly I don't see what your therapist could have done that would have eased your suffering, except become what you wanted her to be and what she could never be for you.
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What if the therapist said at the very start of therapy: "Listen, sometimes therapy induces deep feelings and longings and I want you to know that we'll never act these out. I'm in my professional role when we meet and this will remain that way. We would never meet socially and I hold the upper hand. Hopefully this relationship can help you with your issues or it can ultimately be harmful for you. Please think about that and let me know if it's acceptable to you." If I could hypothetically apply this to my own case I would've said that I'm attracted to her and that I want to go out with her and things could've developed naturally one way or the other. At that point is it really obvious that she's going to reject me? Maybe she likes me too maybe she doesn't, who knows. Of course therapy gets in the way. Of course she'd never open therapy in that way. If there's no informed consent from the start and if the therapist botches the relationship who is to blame then? "This all transference, the client is projecting onto me, I can't do anything about it", "My therapist is a manipulative ***** that got me tangled into her web" these two stances can pretty much coincide and never be resolved. I've been through a similar situation to BudFox's and I think your comment is condescending. What could the therapist have done? Informed consent =_=