For most of us, the reasons can vary. I have also done it out of anger and agitation, and because I can't be good enough, or yeah, disappointment and having been hurt by others too. Have you thought about why you need to punish yourself when trauma has maliciously been done to you? I'm not discrediting that at all - I do that too - but when you think about it, does it make sense? I think maybe when I do that I'm needing to show someone (maybe the one who hurt me) that I have been hurt.

Anyway, it's ok if your feelings are not like someone else's, or even if your feelings change. And I hope that this site helps you too. It helped me to find people who understand because they have been there too.