Hi CAmommyof3,

Welcome to the PC community!

Wow. Lots going on for you for a very long time now.

I am very sorry there wasn't a viable and helpful intervention which may have helped everyone, the whole family, long ago. I do understand you had tried and your husband was unable to participate on that level, for whatever reason.

I can share the fact that both my husband and I each have some of our own challenges. We each have seen our own therapists to deal with each of our own issues. For awhile, we also saw a couples' therapist, which was helpful at the time. We are very lucky we were each/both able to work through our own issues and also support one another.

I have many friends in transition, ending marriages and starting to date. They are not having fun, for the most part. First of all, there is a grieving process involved in healing the loss, even when the marriage has gone south. When people skip over this, they sell themselves short. Sooner or later, they need to take the time to go through the grieving process.

You may have gone through the grieving process. I do not mean to imply you have not. You may be ready to date, while many of my friends truly are not yet ready, are not truly emotionally available to anyone. They are still working on resolutions from their former marriage(s).

In time, you may find someone with whom you resonate. I have found this happens when we least expect it, or when we are not looking for it. It seems to come about spontaneously when the timing is right.

I am glad you are here and reaching out.
You and your family have been through a lot and, by the description you'd written, there is still more to settle in the finalization of the divorce, etc.

I am sure others will be along to welcome you, to share, to support you.

This is a huge site with lots of forums!
Please look around and make yourself at home anywhere you feel comfortable!

I hope to see you around the site!

My Very Best to You and to Your Family.
I hope every one of you, your ex included, will find healing.

Most Sincerely,
WC