Prairie Cat, I am sorry to hear about this anger that is suffocating you. I think the very first thing you should do is is look in the mirror everyday and say "I love myself". That is probably the first step in healing. It is all so unfortunate, your story but I really would love for you to gather the strength to start a whole new chapter of what you CAN do. Affirmations have helped me in the past. If you can look yourself in the eyes and see a survivor that has lots of love to give please let us know. Strong hugs and support.