Dear MC,
When I saw you while walking into T's office today, I wanted to be like, "I sent you an e-mail!" Instead, when you said hi and asked how I was, I was just like, "Good! And you?" I hope you write back at some point. I don't know if you're waiting to talk to T, since I told her I'd be talking about the drinking stuff today. But I think she gets why I'm more reluctant to have her as my accountability person, aka crutch, and more willing to have you be that. The question is, are you willing? And I think maybe I need you to judge me. I think that will make me more motivated. I need to feel like I'm letting you down if I don't stop or at least cut way back. I know that's probably totally a transference thing, but as a means to an end... I know I don't want T to do it because I feel like my mom has already done a lot of judging in my life, but with the one exception, my dad hasn't so much. So maybe it's like I need you to do that to make up for that? Or something weird like that? Or maybe it's just that I want to please you? Ugh, I don't know... transference and dealing with childhood stuff plus current stuff, etc. is so complicated...
Love,
LT