Thank you, prefabsprout

I think this goes back to my dad who was really distant both emotionally and physically.. I can't remember him ever hugging me. It was always like he just wanted to get away from me. I think his absence is why I've always felt different. Defective, like I'm something really disgusting and slimy.. My self-esteem never got to develop in that area.

I think I need to get to know myself now, on my own.. It's going to be harder without a 'mirror', but I'm going to do it, somehow.. I need to realise I'm a good person, no matter what my dad did or didn't do