thank you Muffy. Your a good person too and i know you are there for me.

sunday and monday are the wrost days for me. every sunday i wake up and relive the drive away and all the horrible news i found out. On monday i do the same. but i usually dont sleep sunday night. Sunday continues on into monday while i live it all over again. I can hear, see and taste those two days, like it just happened.

Late last night, after the horrible day sunday was.i broke down again and went and got a strong daiquiri. i came back online and listened to others talk. i took only a few sips of it then started to feel that hate against me for doing what i was doing. i couldnt throw it away, so i just put it in the freezer. I guess it will sit there and tempt me. I need to find it in me to throw it away.