I agree with your T: i believe it is a big deal - and all to your credit.

I guess she means that if you can integrate or ‘absorb’ the love/connection, you wouldn’t need emailing as much. It’s because it is a big deal, and your over-reliance (she wants you to be less dependent on external objects i.e. her) on this tool, that she hopes you can restrict emails (showing you can self-soothe, dig into your inner strength and even inner love).

Independence - or at less reliance on her emails - doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you or you don’t need her anymore but instead, that you can ‘use’ her ever present love/care/affection as a comfort blanket. And you can draw from this ‘love’ blanket whenever you need.