sorry this happened to you and your family and yes, I suppose it might send the wrong message to the kids. Cheating is not okay, I didn't say that....all I wanted him to do was to try and find out what his wife's motivation was. I don't think cheating is a character flaw....you're not just born that way...something has to be at the root of her problems...no?

At this point, I doubt the kids have any idea what is happening to their parents relationship and their family. And I hope, if the OP does divorce her, he doesn't tell these kids until they are old enough to understand that Mom has some serious issues and WHAT exactly, they were.