quite the opposite. I don't care when someone has a character flaw or genetic disposition of any kind. fact of the matter is I have yt to find a cheater that cheats for any reason other than making a bad choice to be deceptive. I don't care about motivations. every motivation for any cheater has been that something has caused them to do this and it denies the idea that it's simply not controlling one's self enough to avoid temptation and being faithful. Everyone has problems, no one has a perfect spouse and none of us does everything right in a relationship. if you're not hapy with your home life, your marriage, it's not hard to get out. No excuse for the deception and stepping out. I am sorry. I've dealt with this more than once and neither time were the reasons justified other than she wanted her cake and eat it too.

as for the kids, I understand considering them and yes it's important but still would not want them in an environment where the parents went through this. The marriage trust is broken at this point and likely even if the kids dont' find out the reason for it, it's going to affect everyone involved negatively. In the off chance that she truly wants to reconcile and make things right, I think it could work out, and in some cases I know that has happened but just in this particular case where she shows no remorse until she was caught (proven by repeated attempts and encounters with males she was pursuing) I think the chance she is sincere is slim

I hope I'm wrong. and I could be but just as an observer that's how it seems to me.