hmmm, I guess I wasn't taking your violence as a response to this situation too seriously, until you repeated it.
1. For what purpose? I don't think that would hold up in a court of law, after you had "forgiven" it. And, do you live in a state that cares about "who's fault it was"?
2. Why would you want to inflict the same pain that you are having onto another family...what do you gain from this?
3. Violence won't solve this.
4. Of course, this would be mandatory
5. Violence that results in your child/children losing their father to prison? That doesn't make sense. You want to scare her into behaving? What kind of life is that?

IDK, seems like you both need marital counseling and shouldn't even consider being together until it is completed. You are angry, I get it. You need to see if you can get over being angry and accept that she screwed up or you won't be doing anyone a favor by taking her back.