Stuck in punishing myself when in actual fact it is other people who are doing or saying stuff. Experienced a feeling of what seemed to be devasting rejection. Might be a misinterpretation but that is in retrospect.
Beating myself up over something my husband said that increased the quandary that I live in. Is it okay or isn't it.
Same quandary over other things. Should I get the purse on sale because I like it or is it an unnecessary expenditure. I have other purses I can use.
Same with food! I live in a should I or shoudn't I state.
Also conversation should I mention this little bit of news I saw on TV or should I not?
So I literally bang myself on the head inside to prevent feeling the feeling,saying the words, eating or most anything. It is a habit and long standing problem. It is just that it is worse and it hurts!
It feels like everything has a definite right or wrong .