I need to take my meds consistently but I'm so tired and scared of side effects I'm not doing it. My husband, parents and kids would be disappointed to learn this but I'm hiding it. At first I was forgetting the meds, or so I thought. Now I'm pretty sure I'm intentionally forgetting them. I'm afraid to tell my PDOC the truth. I'm afraid to write this and expose my non-compliance. I'm afraid I will have another episode, but more afraid of the side effects and sickness the meds cause me. I cycle regardless of meds and I'm stable now and just want to enjoy being stable without added med side effects. I'm watching myself, I'm certain I will catch it early if something happens. Maybe I'm deluding myself.