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Old Jun 29, 2016, 09:26 PM
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Clairvoyant Boy Clairvoyant Boy is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 128
As some of you may know from my previous posts,I have been suffering with depression.
Recently I was doing well,I was feeling alive again.Like I could breathe and I had a purpose to get up in the morning.
Tonight I had a very bad fight that caused my depression to turn worse.I thought it was me being upset so I went out for a drive.I sat in a parking lot and just tried to breathe because my anxiety was getting to intense.
It's been 3 hours now,I took a Ativan but I still haven't calmed down.I question the point of living,I never once had suicidal thoughts.I was one of these people who said "I would never do that",Yet here I am,Walking on the thin line of not caring anymore.
I`m afraid of my own mind,The thoughts that run through it.My own voice taunting me.I never been diagnosed by a Psychiatrist so i`m not sure if I suffer from anything.
When I get stressed it feels like my mind snaps,I feel like my anger turns me into a different person,while the real me becomes a broken shell of myself.My anxiety get's so high it's hard for me to focus on anything.I feel like at times my mind will snap.
I have a good doctor who gives me something to relax me for my anxieties.
I have a really good therapist who is currently working with me for my anxieties and we are currently working on why my moods are like a roller coaster.
I haven't had to the chance to tell her how I feel when I get stressful news or thing's that make me angry.It's like I either fall completely apart or change into a hateful person,Or both.
I need to know what's wrong with me,I feel like im going to go crazy one day.

Thank you for reading this.
__________________

One bright day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise and came and killed those two dead boys.
Hugs from:
Michelea, Yours_Truly