I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I know it must be painful. It must be a struggle. Especially when everything seems okay at first, but it just comes crashing down. But remember how everything got better? How you felt like you could breathe and that you were okay? That happened after you were feeling upset, right? The same thing can happen here. I'm sure you know that. But dreadful times like these, they always pass, even if people think they don't. Things get better, you feeling better was an example of that. I promise you, things will go back to how they were when you were okay. You should bring up this behavior to your Therapist and your Doctor, so then maybe they could do something to help you. If it'll take awhile for you to see them again, just take little steps, okay? One step at a time. Just focus on getting through today. Try any kind of little distractions like reading, writing, drawing, coloring, watching videos/TV, any kind of distraction that wouldn't disrupt your health in any way.

I hope you feel better soon.