Some people get it some people don't but when I describe hallucinations some people don't understand how I can even have them. It's like I have hallucinations because it's part of 'who' I am I guess. It's just part of my diagnosis. I still get them occasionally due to the fact that my meds don't work 100% of the time. I still see shadows occasionally but that's it. Anyways sometimes I miss being unmedicated but I have to remind myself that I am so much better medicated. Sometimes my brain goes on a paranoia about how it's the government trying to control me and I have to thwart that paranoia away. It's not the government trying to control me, it's me trying to better myself. Sometimes I'm afraid of my medications failing on me because they have failed in the past. It's always a toss up when I get on new medications. I'm currently on one medication called Latuda and that's working but I had to get on a high dose due to the fact that the lower doses weren't working. That scares me because there's only one more dose I can go on before I am out of options with this medication.

i remember when I was on 2 medications to treat schizoaffective disorder and that was a crapshoot after a while. I'm hoping this one stays effective for a while.

Anyways I wish there was a way to explain to people how it's like to have hallucinations, how you know sometimes they aren't real but you steal see them anyways and your brain swears up and down their real while you know for a fact they aren't. Like as an example. When I moved into this apartment that I'm currently living in I saw a half skeleton floating near my bathroom just floating on by just minding it's own business. It looked real but I knew it wasn't.