Sabau said, "Now, I'm in a wonderful relationship with a man that pushes me to be my best, supports me when I succeed and fail, makes me laugh, shows me passion, and I could go on and on and on but I don't want to bore you all."
Sabau, that's not boring at all, and I am truly happy to hear of your success at a loving relationship, especially after recounting your past experiences.
In truth, I've had lots of relationships, maybe too many. I married my husband at age 27 primarily out of fear of being hurt again (after the hippie experiences with which I was ill prepared emotionally and morally), and, like you described your second husband, he wasn't a bad fella, but we were just friends, like brother/sister. I stayed because of our daughter, and only left when she went away to college.
The experiences I"ve had in dating and trying to form relationships since then have been pretty disastrous, and I am now four years solo, no dating. I'm afraid to even think about it again. I don't even think I want to extend myself again in that way. I was devoted and loving, only to be stepped on like a doormat repeatedly. This is not a pity party, understand, just learning from experience.
Yes, there is still a part of me that grieves over the loss of a loving relationship, but being realisitic, I doubt it will happen now. The other part of me is too self-protective and learning to take care of myself first (for the first time in my life!).
Patty