That's how I felt in session today. Everything T said irritated me even her voice and mannerisms were annoying.

I think I am still angry and upset about the "no hug thing". I've been feeling really frustrated at my lack of progress too. I've been seeing my T weekly for six months and I don't think I have made any progress. I told my T this hoping she would tell me I am making progress or just say something encouraging but she didn't. We spoke about my feelings around this "lack of progress" and got talking about how I have trouble opening up and my T said that she can only hypothesize so much and eventually she will run out of things to say if I don't have any input. T asked me something like "what will happen for us then?" and I said I don't know and T said she didn't know either. I felt like she was just giving up and I'm just a lost cause and a failure. T said that she "talks more than usual" in our sessions which makes me feel as though I'm doing something wrong.

I usually write stuff down in between sessions and read it to T. In my session today T said that doing that creates distance and removes some of the emotion from it. I said I guess it does but it is better than not talking about my issues at all and T said "of course it is" but went on about how it is a "safer" way to express myself and whatever. I feel like she is trying to discourage me from writing things down and reading them to her. This made me angry because it is the only way I can get everything out and even then it is still very hard for me. These are my sessions and if I want to read stuff out to her I should feel free to do that. Now I worry that T thinks I'm not trying hard enough and she is getting frustrated with me and is going to give up on me.

I don't know, just everything about therapy is really annoying me. I want to quit but at the same time I don't. I feel like the session went in a completely different direction than I had wanted it to. Even though I could have said at anytime that I want to talk about something else I didn't, I just let T talk about whatever crap she was going on about.