Munches have to stay kind of vanilla Bec their usually held in vanilla places.
If I were you I'd try to continue to go to munches to make connections & establish yourself. Munches also lead to other invites that won't be advertised. Some places you have to be vetted to get in.
But just going to munches & talking to others might help you feel better about yourself.

Fettishes are not "condoned" or seen as normal in the vanilla world.
To me, IMHO, these are people who live on the surface.
Scratch a little deeper & you'll find the connections you're looking for![emoji12]