Hi Seraphina,
You did a brave thing coming onto this board. If you can stick around you'll find that people are really supportive and never judge you. Also there are people here who feel just like you do and that helps.
I agree with what you said about wanting to get out of the situation yourself, that is how I have tried to do things, and this board is great for that, as it doesn't commit you to anything you don't want to handle.
My only advice at this stage would be to stay with us.
Good thoughts to you, Myzen.
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