Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
Oh this is getting interesting, isn't it? I can accept different opinions, I think. I don't like it when my T is criticized because I think she's amazing, but I can understand that people can have different opinions. I still think that for ME, it's a good idea to stop emailing each week. My T knows my history, and I trust her. She brought it up as "what would it be like for you if you journaled instead of emailing me?" It's a challenge to see if I can do it, and how I feel doing it. I will continue to question her about it, but so far, there are benefits. I'm not hurting terribly, just feeling more, and a lot may be about my Mom, not my T, anyway. I'm able to tolerate it, and after 6 years, that may be a good thing. Many people do not even stick with a T for 6 years; they quit or are terminated. That's not happening with me right now. I feel I'm getting stronger in general, and my T agrees!
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I think the important thing is that your therapy is what YOU want for yourself, not what she wants for you or what you think you want because of her influence.
My thoughts on emailing is that if a therapist allows it, I think they should be willing to accept whatever comes in without attempting to curb the content or the frequency. I do think it's up to them to set the guideline as to what they will respond to and how often, and be consistent with that. Email is helpful in many ways, especially with respect to dealing with very difficult feelings that therapy stirs up. The fact that you still find it very helpful and are having a tough time weaning off it it makes me think it's still a very necessary, important therapy tool for you.
In my experience, obsession wanes on its own over time if left to play out. Eventually when you feel completely safe and secure in the relationship over a very long period of time, your therapist will be much less interesting to you and you won't feel like emailing anymore. I think that's very different from deciding that emailing ir dependency is a 'bad' thing and challenging yourself to stop when your natural need right now is for connection.
I do think the fact that you can tolerate uncomfortable feelings is great, but again you heard my opinion and I don't think therapy needs to be nearly as uncomfortable as it is for many people.
Your therapist sounds like a lovely person by the way, and noted how protective you are of her. I'm the same way with mine.