The other question here is what is a rupture. We may not all be defining it the same. I had never heard the term until I came to PC. It isn't a term my therapist ever mentioned. After hearing people here talk about ruptures it still just isn't something I really associate as ever really happening in my own therapy. Most of the time here a rupture seems to be fairly dramatic disagreement or clients talking about feeling abandoned or betrayed or other really strong hurt or anger at/with their therapist -- sometimes to the point of questioning if they can even continue in therapy with that therapist. Other times people have given a milder definition of "rupture" so we may not all be on the same page about what we are discussing here maybe?

The word "rupture" brings images of oozing wounds or volcanic explosions in my head; definitely don't get that feel from my experience.

So I took a few minutes to find a therapy definition online, and I found this definition from a scholarly journal on the subject: "A rupture in the therapeutic alliance can be defined as a tension or breakdown in the collaborative relationship between patient and therapist (Safran & Muran, 2006). Although the term rupture may imply, to some, a dramatic breakdown in collaboration, ruptures vary in intensity from relatively minor tensions, which one or both of the participants may be only vaguely aware of, to major breakdowns
in collaboration, understanding, or communication."

So it seems that a rupture is about a breakdown in the collaborative relationship in therapy according to the literature. Again, in my therapy, we were fortunately always able to communicate and work through disagreements or misunderstandings before anything really "broke down"; thus, I really don't think an actual "rupture" ever occurred in my therapy. We definitely had a therapy relationship -- a really close and productive one -- but I'm not sure I ever felt my therapist "used" (as ruh roh mentioned) our relationship as a focus in my therapy. On the other hand, I would say he did model clear communication, honesty, self-advocacy, etc. in our relationship which I know I picked up on and applied in my life, so while the relationship never felt like the focus, it certainly influenced my progress and the effectiveness of my therapy experience.

I'm just kind of thinking out loud as I work through this idea of ruptures. Thanks ruh roh for your post. It was thought-provoking and insightful.