Is she exactly like you? Well you have to wash your hands of the situation be positive in your conversations as you can then move on knowing you did the best job you could do as her parent in her up bringing. Show her how to be if all you do is whip her with guilty words then who is she going to emulate. I'm a firm believer after some point you have to cut off adults that act like kids with no guidance.. Most people don't share their stuff to have it emulated especially if the bad stuff is shared it is shared to know what not to do to follow the same course isn't not like what they should do. Suggest therapy anyone that is exact opposite of what you taught has some sort of hurt they are hiding that are driving these behaviors.