I know what it's like to try and stay tough, to hide how bad it is so as not to burden your loved one. I learned the hard way not to do this. The people who love me (and I bet this applies to you too) actually mean it when they say they want to help. Sometimes I need to be alone to reflects, think, stew or whatever. But other times, having someone near me helps so much. My mom will come over and just sit with me. Sometimes we chat, sometimes she just sits silently with me and it helps. I feel guilty for taking her time, since she's a very busy person, but I know my mom feels I am worth it. When I cannot figure out what I need, I often ramble on and on to my husband about one topic to the next, just expressing whatever comes into my mind. I will cry on and off and just talk. Sometimes that really helps. But sometimes, I have to be alone and wallow in it and people being around makes it worse, and I lash out and say something out of character so I know being alone is best. It is the worst when you know you need something but cannot figure out what it is. I hope you figure out something to help. (((Hugs)))