I just had a thought on this thread, not sure how it would help or benefit but it just popped into my head so figured I share. Please forgive me if I don't make sense or am way off base (I'm having a hard time being semi-coherent lately)

1. Just in response to the thread title my thought was: Could it be like my T? She still welcomes whatever I want to send when I want to send it (texts / letters) but at the same time it's okay if I don't. Not that she doesn't want me to but it's okay. If I don't text her or write her a letter she still feels the same about me, nothing changes. I think that's the point for my relationship, that I don't have to text (unless she requires me to for safety purposes) or write letters to her to express things. It's a connection I feel when I do it and less the content. Like she 'has something of mine'. It's weird but it is what it is. She respects that and understands it. So if she doesn't text back or we don't communicate for a few hours, it's okay. She still is there. She isn't mad and by this I'm able to (failing at it right now) be a little more self reassuring, and I tell myself those things when I start to miss the connection. I have made a list of all the things she's done, said, etc that when I'm starting to doubt or feel she's upset with me I read the list aloud and try to calm my other parts. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't - and either way, it's okay.