hi t. that stupid thing that happened at work today that i wasn't even involved in but was close enough to see and had to be grilled by management about? my stomach is in knots over it. I'm going to bed now and will try to go to that place inside that i found in that recent dream, and see if i can sleep. i don't know why i am falling back in to my old pattern of excessive worry. i am scared that i'm going to get fired because i didn't share my speculations about the situation. i didn't even DO anything and i'm afraid of being fired. i hate this. i hate the politics **** in a big company. when will i ever learn. just when i was starting to get somewhere, i got promoted awhile back and am on a pilot team project and am well-respected there, well at least i thought so until today, now i am afraid for my job, and global thinking is threatening to throw me into panic and a night of no sleep. i am going to try my hardest to go to that place inside where i know how to go now, and before i do i think i'll be having a conversation with you in my head. i swear i sometimes feel like you're actually hearing me, and then i hear what you would say in your voice. that is so weird, you know? Apparently i have internalized you a little too well.