Yes, this happens to me also so much and for me, it's self steem. That I will annoy them or say something embarrasing or just be a pain to be with them. To force yourself to go because you know that latter you will feel terrible for cutting people out and be alone and ti will be all your fault.

Even know I feel it. I invited to a dinner a friend this last monday and my uncle offered not only his restaurant for free but ended paying my cab round trip. The food was delicious, I was astonished that my uncle, whom I was never close, acted so kindly and I got the time with my friend. yet I couldn't stop thinking "The only thing I do is complain" "say something interesting" "only listen to him, that's what people like" " be positivie" "don't rehash conversation" and so on. Even days later, I'm happy from going but I feel regret of how it hink I acted and I feel so confused.

I'm 29 in three weeks and I have been alone for most of my life. Mostly, It had been my fault (I think) and my lack of social grace and the myriad of problems I came with in middle and high school and my complete shut in in university.

You are not alone, not in this. It's hard and what I can advice you is: try it step by step. One at the time. It's hard and as you can see, I seem to get one up and two down but I think is helping me. For example, it had been almost a month since I got this massive feeling of loneliness that I even got a thread up but after that I feel right now more calm. Even when I confronted a friend today for an online card game that he stup me up I managed to act calmly about the issue and right now I feel more at ease.

You can get out of it and, as an example with my mother, she only at her 62 years old had managed to be with herself most of the time and yet she go to breakfasts and clubs every other day. There is time for both of us.