I am so sorry for your loss. Even though people tend to forget that even losing someone like a therapist/psychologist can feel like as if someone had passed away. Your grief is real and should be handled with care. I hope you are able to move beyond this horrible point in your life, but no one should push or prod you to do so. So, please take it easy and allow your emotions to flow.
Many blessings to you.
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The man who chases two rabbits, catches neither. - Confucius
Good for life: Work like a dog. Eat like a horse. Think like a fox. And play like a rabbit. - George Allen