Thank you all for your replies. I'm just worried that the grief is going to become much more intense and am dreading that last session. I don't know when it will be, as we haven't set the date yet, but I know it will be within a few more weeks.

What is it going to feel like to be triggered in the middle of the night and wake up knowing I can't actually go talk to him? I imagine the world will be a completely different place, much like it has been when I've lost friends and family members.

Lolagrace, I hope I might be able to stay in contact with him after termination. Even if it's not as therapist/client, he's a good human being and I think we would be friends if we had met in any other circumstances.

I don't know about starting therapy with someone new. I don't want someone new. I want him. We could have kept working together and I would have continued to grow and improve so much.

When I told him I didn't want to stop working together, he nodded thoughtfully and then said,

"Yes, but you've done so many things you don't want to do."

I CAN continue to heal and get better without him...I just really, really don't want to.