Hi 21joshduns: I'm sorry you are struggling so. It can be difficult enough when those around you are supportive. Struggling in silence can be so much more difficult. I hope being here on PsychCentral can be of at least some small comfort to you.

I don't know where you live, or what kinds of services are available to you, of course. But, from what you wrote, it sounds as though an eating disorders program could possibly be a great resource for you.

By the way, are you familiar with California Therapist Kati Morton? (I think I've replied to your posts previously. Maybe I've mentioned her to you before.) Kati uploads mental health related videos onto her YouTube channel. She's also on Facebook, Twitter, & other social websites. Kati has a special interest in eating disorders. If you're not familiar with her, check out her YouTube channel! She's great!