Thank you everyone for your insights and experiences. I am grateful.

Innerzone, you mention meditation. Like Jupiter says, "I don't have the self-discipline". When I try meditation, I try to focus on my breathing, then I inevitably begin counting my breaths and the number sequence is triggered. Right now I have some sort of patriotic tune, twelve notes repeating in succession. Well, it's fitting I suppose for the upcoming 4th of July weekend! It is just background noise right now. I love your description of the chaos/chatter.

Jupiter it is comforting to know that you can relate, although I know how troublesome falling asleep can be. You mentioned the self-harm. It's strange but there is this visual I use when falling asleep. Maybe I do have a form of meditation.

I just told this to my husband...he thinks it's weird. I definitely agree with him.