i actually met with the clinic director about my alcohol issues and he didnt see it as an addiction so much but rather something i could get more support with at outside groups. i fear it is somewhat of an addiction though. it really helps to numb myself from pain.

i feel like i have a problem. of course. but clinical or even addiction. im not sure. im just at odds with this whole "addiction" thing.

my mom and dad and sister. basically my whole family, told me to just stop. which isnt easy. everytime i go to buy gas i cant help but go in to get wine. (which is my alcohol of choice).

as for this guy. idk what im gonna do. i really dont.

what scared me was when he broke up with ME. but then i was i guess pushing to get back with him and he said "i know where you live...". so i was really afraid. so far things have been ok. but i just feel extremely used in this relationship. he ate a lot of my food (i fed him because he said he was hungry) at my house. then he wants candy. wants me to take him places (he has no car). want to have whole bottles of my vape juice (which i pay 18 dollars per bottle for). i told him im sick of it. he really wont take no for an answer and is a bit controlling. he told me himself in his own words he was "possessive". which i fear a bit.